Step 9 AA and NA is where courage meets action.
After preparing your list in Step 8, this step challenges you to make direct amends to those harmed by your addiction, not just with words, but through changed behavior.
It’s not about seeking forgiveness or erasing the past; it’s about humility, responsibility, and rebuilding trust.
Whether through heartfelt conversations, repaid debts, or living amends, Step 9 teaches that healing relationships require both honesty and respect for boundaries.
Here’s how to approach this transformative step with care, clarity, and compassion.
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What Is Step 9 in AA and NA?
Step 9 AA states: “Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” 1
Step 9 NA states: “We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” 2
This step is about repairing relationships where possible, but also recognizing when direct contact might cause harm.
It’s not about grand gestures—it’s sincere efforts to right wrongs, like apologizing to a friend you lied to or repaying stolen money.
If direct contact risks doing more harm, you should consider doing an indirect amends, like donating to charity.
Watch: Step 9 – Making Amends with Courage and Compassion
In this video, Cornerstone Healing Center’s founder and CEO, Estil Wallace, offers heartfelt guidance on Step 9—making direct amends the right way.
Why Step 9 AA & NA Matters
Making amends is about restoring trust, not just with others but also with yourself.
Addiction often leads to broken relationships, financial struggles, and deep emotional wounds.
By facing past harm head-on, you prove recovery isn’t just words.
Step 9 AA and NA help rebuild integrity by demonstrating real change through action.
This step isn’t about seeking forgiveness—it’s about showing responsibility.
Some people may not accept your amends, and that’s okay.
What matters is that you are making an honest effort to right past wrongs and move forward with integrity, one honest choice at a time.
Common Struggles With Step 9
Step 9 can be one of the most challenging steps in recovery, but you’re not alone.
Many people have shared their struggles with:
- Fear – “What if they don’t forgive me?”
- Guilt – “Can I ever truly make up for what I did?”
- Uncertainty – “How do I approach making amends?”
- Rejection – “What if they don’t want to hear from me?”
Tips to move forward:
- Consult your sponsor: Their experience with the 12 steps of AA can help navigate tough choices.
- Prioritize safety: If contact risks harm, choose indirect amends.
- Accept outcomes: You control effort, not others’ responses.
The 12 steps of AA and NA remind us that amends are about your growth, not controlling others’ reactions.
Remember it’s progress, not perfection!
The AA Step 9 Prayer: A Guide for Courage
Step 9 AA prayer is a humble request for strength:
“Give me the strength and direction to do the right thing no matter what the consequences may be. Help me to consider others and not harm them in any way. Help me to consult with others before I take any actions that would cause me to be sorry. Help me to not repeat such behaviors. Show me the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness, and love, and help me live the spiritual life.” 3
In NA, focus shifts to actionable commitment: “Help me act with integrity, even when it’s hard.”
Whether spoken aloud or written, this prayer reminds you that amends are about accountability, not control.
Quick Tip: Approach Amends with Patience
Not every amends needs to be made immediately. Some require careful timing and consideration. Seek guidance from a sponsor, and focus on making thoughtful, meaningful amends rather than rushing the process.
How to Work Through Step 9
Approaching Step 9, AA and NA with humility and responsibility ensures a smoother process.
Here are some steps to follow:
- Review your Step 8 list – Determine which amends can be made directly.
- Ask your sponsor – They can provide insight on when and how to make amends.
- Be mindful of harm – Ensure that making amends doesn’t cause further damage.
- Respect boundaries – If someone says “No,” honor their choice. You can’t control how others respond, only your actions.
- Commit to lasting change – Show change through daily actions.
Even when direct amends aren’t possible, you can still live in a way that reflects your commitment to making things right.
AA vs. NA: Small Differences, Same Heart
Step 9 AA and NA share the same wording, but the approach differs slightly:
- AA (Alcoholics Anonymous): Encourages direct amends whenever possible, often incorporating spiritual guidance in the process.
- NA (Narcotics Anonymous): Focuses on practical steps, like writing amends letters or changing habits.
Both programs stress that amends should repair harm without causing more pain.
Whether through AA’s spiritual guidance or NA’s emphasis on practical accountability, Step 9 AA and NA aren’t about erasing the past; it’s about building a future where your actions reflect your values.
Check out the comparison graphic below, for an even better understanding:
What Comes After Step 9?
Step 10 comes next: “Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.”
After the courageous action of making amends in Step 9, Step 10 invites you to keep that spirit of accountability alive in your daily life.
In the AA 12-step program, this often looks like daily reflection and honest check-ins with yourself.
In NA, it’s also about staying mindful of your thoughts, actions, and how you show up for others.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is Step 9 in AA?
Step 9 AA is making direct amends to those harmed, unless it would cause injury. It’s about accountability and growth, not about getting forgiveness from the person; it’s more about owning the wrongdoings and moving forward with a clear conscience.
What if someone refuses my amends?
Not everyone will accept an apology, and that’s okay. Step 9 is about making an honest effort, not controlling the outcome. If a direct amends doesn’t seem possible, you can still demonstrate change through your actions and commitment to recovery.
What if making amends would cause harm?
If you believe reaching out will cause harm to yourself or others, you might want to consider making indirect amends. Some people donate to charity, change their behaviors, or make peace with themselves through personal growth. This is something you should definitely ask your sponsor for guidance with.
What’s the difference between Step 9 and Step 8?
Step 8 of the 12 steps of AA and NA is about identifying those you’ve harmed and becoming willing to make amends. It’s a step of reflection, helping you prepare emotionally and spiritually for what comes next. Step 9 is where that preparation turns into real-world action. This is when you begin making direct amends, whenever possible, in a way that’s thoughtful and respectful.
Key Takeaways
- Key Takeaways
- Step 9 AA and NA focus on direct action to repair past harm.
- Making amends is about responsibility, not seeking forgiveness.
- Some amends may need to be indirect to avoid further harm.
- This step lays the foundation for continued self-accountability in Step 10.
Begin Healing Today at Cornerstone
Step 9 is where recovery starts to become visible—a moment when intentions turn into action.
It’s about showing real change and taking responsibility for the harm you’ve caused.
At Cornerstone Healing Center, we understand how meaningful and challenging this step can be because many of us have walked this same path ourselves.
Whether you’re drafting amends letters or facing difficult conversations, we’re here to help you rebuild trust and move forward with honesty and heart.
Our addiction treatment programs combine the 12 steps of AA and NA with therapy and peer support, providing guidance through every stage of this brave, life-changing journey.
Reach out to us today and let us help you begin your life again.
